The folks were good to me. They got me a basic builders kit for Christmas. I was ready to go. I was excited. I had career potential. Only problem was I didn’t have any gas in the car to get there. I hatched a plan. I put $50 gas in the tank and walked into the shop. I told them I couldn’t find my wallet. I gave them a spare cell phone as collateral. I couldn’t believe I had pulled it off. I paid them back first pay packet. I was very thankful.
 

The new boss seemed like a bit of a dick, giving people shit for nothing, abusing them. He turned into a major asshole. His name was Craig King. No one really liked him, but we put up with it. I was happy to be in a trade. He hadn’t signed me up for the apprentiship yet, there was a three month trial. Once I raided the skip bin for good timber and I took it all home and started building a kids play house. I thought I could sell it and make some money out of nothing. I used what I had and bought a little bit here and there. I thatched a roof out of tussock grass. It looked pretty decent. It was bloody heavy though. I realised we weren’t going to be able to move it, it was stuck in the garage. So after all that hard work after hours, I dismantled it and took her to the tip. It was a shame, I had a blast using my creativity. Everyone said it looked real good. I really like thatched roofs, they look amazing.
 

I started getting weird thoughts again, saying weird things at work, feeling excited. I didn’t notice it, but they did though. The boss kept me on for three months and let me go. I was pretty gutted, but happy to see him goodbye. Would I go back to busking or would I lay low? I had stopped playing guitar and couldn’t remember any songs. One day I’m on the internet and I search “How to make money in New Zealand”. I read around and up comes possum trapping. I do my research and decide to set some traps, might as well have a go. I liked the idea of catching an animal, it felt natural. I head up the hill behind the houses to an area I used to go to. I used string and braches to set three traps. I used cut up apples as bait. I couldn’t wait! The excitement! It was a real thrill, I was anxious. I’d never killed an animal before apart from a fish. I felt it was a right of passage to becoming a man.
 

I checked the traps the next morning , and, sure enough I had one on the first trap! I was over the moon. I couldn’t believe with some string and sticks I’ve got myself a possum! I gave him the love tap to the head with a hammer and he died instantly. I was nervous about it, but I held my ground. I wanted to do this. It wasn’t that bad. It’s over pretty quick. I’ve done it, I’ve got my first kill! I put him in my bag, checked the other traps, and went home. I was pretty stoked to tell my folks I had a kill. Now I had to skin him. This didn’t sound too enticing. I had watched how to do it on Youtube, so I felt confident. I put on some gloves and got to work. It wasn’t the finest skin, but I had done it. When I pulled it off the carcass it felt good, real good. I washed it and hung it up to dry. I then moved onto the carcass. I wanted to gut it, and keep the meat. I wasn’t going to eat it I thought it could be used for dog food. It stunk a little, nothing too bad though. I buried the entrails and put the carcass in the freezer. What an accomplishment. I later brought some leg hold traps from the store, it was time to step it up a notch.
 

Mum found a school offering a pre trade course in construction. It started up soon. I was keen. It was hard getting into the business with no experience on the tools, expecially when they only teach you how to sweep and clean. When we started we spent our time in the classroom going over basic stuff. It was pretty boring for a bit. I impressed the class by solving a hard maths problem even the teacher couldn’t figure out. The class was full of young blokes, mostly fresh out of school. There was about six of us left after the first couple weeks, a bit of a cull. I felt good about things and with a bit of experience under my belt I was still in the building game.
 

I bumped into a guy at the legal high shop called Karim and we got to talking. He used to live with an old friend of mine who had just moved out of his house. I moved into his house in Dalefield, a short drive out of Queenstown. It was rural and we had a bit of land. Karim had a pet goat and sheep. They were really friendly. He got them at six weeks old. Goat would start head butting sheep, and sheep would start head butting goat back. I’d laugh at them and they'd stare and smile back at me. They were real characters. I really liked living here. We looked right onto Coronet Peak. It was a great view. It felt peaceful here. The place was called Songbird Hill and everything was run down. The house was pretty good, a bit old but still standing. There was an old stables and there was an old organ in the shed that didn’t work, I could only image the people who once lived here. I wanted to fix things up, plant some gardens. But it’s not my house. I wish I could own it. A good ol fashioned do-er-upper. I even tried talking Mum into buying it as she often talking about wanting a bit of land. I really wanted it for myself, a perfect dream.
 

My mental health took a turn for the worse. I started having thoughts that I was being watched, and that my thoughts can be projected onto people, people were reading my mind. I thought I was on the Truman Show. I gave some crazy speeches to the world trying to rark up a revolution. I was shouting and ranting in the front yard. I came up with the idea that we would have Metallica playing on the back of a moving truck. We would declare ourselves to be a rolling state. We would have our own laws. It was a revolution! I had heard Metallica say on the radio that they thought Rock and Roll was dead, and I wanted to prove them wrong. This was going to be pure Heaven on earth. There would be cars drifting everywhere, monster trucks doing jumps, everything that would be fucking awesome! I was going nuts giving this speech. Later that day the flatmates are inside the house, I’m out in the garage smoking some legal highs. I wanted to test my thought powers, see if this is really real. I say in my head, “Mikey, if you can hear me, come out to the garage and give me a hug”. I thought it would be something random that wouldnt normally happen. Sure enough he comes out and just stares at me. I couldn’t believe it! I say to him, “Mikey come give me a hug”. We hug and he leaves without saying anything. What the fuck is going on. Is this for real? Did I really just telecommunicate to him? I think for moment, and head inside. I turn to the other flatmate, and say “Is this for real?”. He tells me it’s true.
 

I freak out, I go bonkers. I run to my car and start tearing all the junk out of it. I thought they were going to do it up sick and Mad Mike was going to drift it with me sitting shotgun. I take off to town. I’m driving like an idiot, well over the speed limit, overtaking people, doing skids. I thought it would get good ratings, I thought everyone was watching me. I head for my parents house, I want to sort something out with the neighbour across the road. I’m pumping. I get there and things get a little heated with dad. I see the neighbour come out and she issues me with a trespass notice(note that she is a crazy bitch who lied to the cops and got her way). I stop a car in the middle of the road yelling that I can control things, thinking it was all just TV. I jump in my car, do a handbrake turn. Narrowly avoiding dad I take off down the road. I head back to Song Bird Hill and try to chill out. I didn’t know what to do. My mind was racing. Not long after that the cops arrive and arrest me on driving charges. They put me in the cells. Soon enough a lady comes and sees me. She tells me that under the mental health act, I’m to go to the Invervargill mental health ward. I don’t know what to think. I thought they were bad people stopping me from starting the uprising. I thought they were a cult. I try to run as the cops take me outside, I get nowhere. I thought I was screwed. They drug me up and take me to the hospital. I don’t remember much about this drive.
 

I wake in an unfamiliar room. I’m pretty confused. I walk out to the corridor and go for a look. I find a nurse and she explains things to me. I don’t like what they have to say. I’m in Invercargill Mental Health ward and I’m not too happy. There were meetings with a doctor. He was telling me they thought I had bi-polar disorder. I didn’t like this guy, I thought I was fine. I came up with a plan to write the Book of Fucking Awesome. My auto biography that would be updated with all the awesome things I would do for people. It would be a blog. I thought I could drum up an audience. I told the shrink about my plans, he didn’t like it. He saw it as crazy talk. I am still pretty wild on this manic episode. I was allowed out for short periods of time. I would walk down the street to the legal high shop. Legal highs would keep me entertained while I was in here, and my guitar. They tried all sorts of medication to see which one worked. It took a while for me to come down. When I came right I gave up on my book. I realised I had gone crazy. The news was reporting a lot about legal highs, people were protesting about them. The legal high shop down the road was set on fire. It was a pandemic. People were hooked, and it was ruining their lives. It wouldn’t be like this if weed were legal. Keep it natural. They tell me I shouldn’t smoke legal highs or weed. I don’t listen. Then the government banned legal highs. It was a bit of a shock. The good times of getting high at the shop were over. I could only think of all the people who would be affected. I knew some would be upset. It was a good thing to do though. Surely they would legalize weed now, wouldn’t it be a good time? They discharged me from the hospital. I have to take regular medication. I am fine with that. I don’t want to get sick again. I had spent five weeks in the hospital. They made me move back in with my parents for a while. I never talked to the guys about what happened that night. I really want to locate Mikey and see why he came out into the garage, did he really hear my voice in his head?
 

Back to school it was. We had just started building the house. I was pretty excited, a good chance to learn some new things. It was only three days a week, so I had plenty of time to trap possums. Buy this time I had brought more traps, I had around twenty. I was plucking the fur instead of skinning them. It was a lot easier. I was straight for a bit, didn’t touch any drugs and didn’t know where to get any. Then one day a classmate offers to sell me a $50 bag of weed. I was hesitant at first, but agreed. Back to the good old times.
 

These young guys knew where to get all the weed. I laid low for a while. I was gutted my mind had tricked me into thinking something so awesome. I started taking a few school mates up possum trapping with me. I thought it would be a good experience for them. It only took an hour to check the traps, just a quick walk through the bush. I was making a little money from it to top up my income, but I was really enjoying the adventure more than anything. One day I take a school mate called Reuben up to move some traps. All’s going hunky dory until we smell a stench. It smelled pretty rotten. We thought it was just a dead animal. We head to a tree I used to trap on. I go behind it off the track and I see a backpack sitting there. I think it’s rather odd that it’s sitting here and that there’s a bad stench. I started to panic a bit. I look around and sure enough, there’s a dead lady hanging from a tree. I was stunned. It took a moment for us to say anyhing until Reuban says, “Did we just find a dead body?” We both couldn’t believe it. I thought it was a joke, that someone had planted it here to be funny. We gather our senses and I call the cops. It was a three minute walk to the road. The cops thought it was a Chinese women that had gone missing. Had we solved a mystery? It felt rather surreal. We both couldn’t believe it had happened. Turns out she had left a note and was missing for two months.
 

She looked like shit. Black and decomposing. I didn’t get much sleep that night. I started having weird thoughts again. I felt like her spirit had entered my body. I started thinking I was a God. I swore I telecommunicated to a TV presenter on live television. I thought in my head, shit yourself women. And she squirmed. I was over the moon! I thought that I had solved the puzzle, that everyone was going to believe in me, the world would be fucking awesome! I started thinking of all the awesome things I’d do for the people. I would make everyone’s reality there own world. What you did didn’t actually affect anyone else. You could dream of whatever you wanted. Heaven on eaerth. I had always wanted a castle on top of Kelvin Heights. It was a perfect spot for a monument to my greatness. I would wake up as a giant, and I would stand on a mountain of weed striking a pose in triumph of revolutionizing the world. It sounded bloody awesome! Metallica would be jamming up there with me. Everything would be fucking awesome! I thought that when I woke up the next day, it would all come real. I was shaking uncontrollably that night, I thought I had solved every single problem in the entire world! I thought I was going to get my son back! I didn’t sleep much that night. Needless to say when I woke up I wasn’t a giant, I was pretty gutted. Mum had caught onto me acting weird, and we agreed to call the hospital. We check in at the local clinic and I lie in a room by myself while they talk. I hear loud banging and freak out. I thought it was guns and that I had just started a war with China over my son, and that the Chinese were coming here to kill me because they know of my powers. I was totally freaking out. I had to go back to Invercargill Mental Health Ward. I thought they were going to give me a pill to kill me, and I would become God. They gave me some meds and I came right after the first nights sleep. I felt let down again. How could my mind so easily trick me? This bi-polar was like being on an acid trip. I was only in there a week this time, and back to school it was.
 

I stopped possum trapping. It freaked me out going near that tree. It gives me the chills. We sure had a story to tell everyone. What were the chances? It was like winning lotto, and we had solved a mystery! I definatly thought a lot more about suicide. I had almost been there before. It certainly put me off wanting to attempt it again. I have a son and one day he will need me. Life carried on as normal. I felt like I had bonded with Reuben over this experience. We became good mates. We’d chill out and smoke weed, same old shit really. He knew where to get all the weed, I owe him that. He was always just happy to help a person in need. School wrapped up and I had earned myself a certificate in construction. I was happy with that. I didn’t work for a bit, I looked for a job though, but nothing came up. If only I had been practising the guitar, I could have gone busking. Something did come up though. It was a hammer hand job on a commercial project. I’ve never built commercial before so it would be a good opportunity, and it was paying $25 an hour. This would be the most money I’ve ever earned, I was pretty excited. It was a lot different than building a house. I’d rather be building a house to be honest, but I was going with the flow. It was good pulling $900+ a week. He told me $25 an hour but I’m sure it was more. I brought a few more tools, and I had money to smoke. I became a legend at work with some of the stories I would tell, I’d get them to tears,more-so laughing at me rather than with me, but someones got to be the clown. So all was good, my career was on track.
 

Then five months in something happened. It was stupid on both my part and the bosses. He wasn’t clear enough with directions or I misheard and didnt understand the task. I cut some starters off coming from the slab instead of the sleeve around them. It was a pretty big mistake. They had to break the concrete and put the starters back in. They gave me the sack. I was a contractor and it was what they said needed to happen. I was pretty gutted to be out of work. I definatly learned to be more clear about receiving instructions. I had a month of so off then signed up to Allied Work Force and got back into the labour industry. It wasn’t really where I wanted to be, but it would be an income and it was in the building industry. It was good getting paid again, I could afford things. One day I’m working on a job lifting some gib and a guy by the name of Wal approaches me. I had worked with Wal years and years ago. I also knew him from social circles. We get past introductions, and he offers me a job! I was chuffed. This would be more money than I’m getting for sure. I thought we would be fixing gib, but I find out he’s into building and he runs crews. This was looking real good. Wal plays in a band. He is a cool guy, someone I could work for. I was over the moon, another chance! I was going to make sure this worked. Three weeks in and Wal says he’ll sign me up for my apprentiship. I’m stoked, things are on the up and up!
 

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